Valentine’s Day – The Importance of a Father’s Love

Dads are the first men Daughters Love

I have a wonderful, loving mother.  I know God blessed me with her to make up for the absence of love from my Dad.  My Dad has been in heaven for eight years now, but the effects of his lack of love toward his little girl has been lifelong  and probably one of the main reasons why I am still not married.

I am coming to better terms with my Father’s relationship and this post is not meant to be about bashing him or dads in general for that matter.  But, I just wanted to speak from my heart and speak from experience to all fathers out there who have little girls in their care. I want to remind them about how important their role is in the life of their daughters.

For you see the world tells us at a very young age that we are to wait for our Prince Charming.  But, even though we learn about our Prince through Disney classics - it is our fathers who embody them for us. They are the first men in our lives who love us – they set the bar for how we should choose our boyfriends and our Prince Charmings.  Dads are so very important to our well-being.  In many ways, they are more valuable in this area than our mothers.

Whenever I am able to give advice to dads who are struggling with teenage girls, I ask them if they have ever taken their daughters on a date.   Every time I hear the same answer – it is no.  I tell them that their daughters need to learn what to expect on a date before they have their first one – this is a lesson every dad can give their daughter. I so wish my dad did that with me.  I wished he cared enough about me and how I let boys/men treat me.  His words to me would have been so helpful, especially when I was such a shy girl.

I am writing this today, because it’s every Valentine’s Day that I remember the two times that he did something for me. The first was when I was in junior high and was sick.  He brought me a box of chocolates in a heart-shaped box the day after Valentine’s because they were half off at the drug store.  The second came two decades later.  He actually bought me a couple roses with a little card.

Which do you think meant more to me?  You guessed it.  The card.  I still have it. It is taped to a photo frame containing his picture. That card is priceless to me.  Whenever I feel the most unloved or unlovable or just plain down, I look at the card and remember that my Dad was not able to show me his love. It was his problem and not mine.  But he did tell it to me once with this card. God allowed me to have one memento from the first man in my life.  I do know now after years of therapy that, in his own way, he loved me the best he could.

I could go on and on about Valentine’s Day.  I am not a fan, only because I’m not on a date with someone who thinks I’m terrific.  I really think Valentine’s Day is a holiday that Satan uses mightily.  For those of us single, divorced, widowed, brokenhearted – it’s a day of sadness – if you let it be.  But, God, told me this week – that he has all the love for me that I need.  I am not unloved.  I am not unlovable.  I am His Valentine. I still have my mom who has never forgotten me on Valentine’s.  And I have this card.

Lasting Words from my Father on Valnetine's Day - A Valentine's Day Reminder

So dads do something special with your daughters. Teach them about how they should expect to be treated by the opposite sex.  Take them on one-on-one dates. Make them feel special and be the first man in their lives to give them flowers with a little card on Valentine’s Day.  I guarantee you that they will keep that card the rest of their life just like I’m doing.

Happy Valentine’s Day.