Looks are deceiving. Piranha fish may look harmless, but they have sharp teeth and leave a mean bite.

I really do not want to write this post….but I feel, it is part of my responsibility as a single Christian. I need to preface this post with the fact that I am not asking anyone to judge another person per God’s instructions to us – “How can you think of saying, ‘Friend, let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you are well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.” –Luke 6:42

With that being said, just because someone is involved in a Christian singles group, it does not attest to the fact that he/she is a born-again sold-out Christian. I’ve seen this played out so many times and have seen its destruction that many times. It can be devastating to the person who falls prey (not pray) to this evil behavior. Usually what happens is these people who have motives of landing another (for personal pleasure) is looking for someone who is a bit new in their faith and vulnerable. And like a piranha, these impostors devour their subjects all under the guise of being a Christian. And it makes me so sad.

The main point of this post is Please Realize that Christian Single Groups are Not Automatically Safe Places and better yet,  just because someone says they are a Christian…doesn’t necessary mean that they are.

So be very cautious about building relationships with others until you’ve seen the true character of that person.  When you’re not totally infatuated with them, its much easier to make a realistic assessment.  When you are head over heels in love, then its difficult to see the truth before your eyes.  But, keep a look out for those red flags.  There are several character traits that will tell you the type of person that individual is and I will list some in a few graphs. However, first I want to chat a bit about the two different approaches that I’ve witnessed.

Again, these are not tried and true facts and I am totally speaking about generalities here.  But, women in this category are seeking security (financial, emotion) at all costs and look to land a man who will take care of them.  Men, on the other hand, or looking for someone who will give them pleasure…that’s about all I’m going to say about that.

So how can you guard your hearts.  Here’s a few simple tips.

1) Take things slowly.

2) Become friends.

3) Go out in group settings and watch how that person behaves.

4) Listen to how they answer bible study questions or if they answer questions.

5) Observe their actions – who they hang with; how they spend their days off.

6) Watch their church attendance.  If they  seldom attend or church hop or singles group hop…that’s a red flag.

7) If they are constantly turning their heads around to see who’s walking through the door – move on. They are just interested in meeting the new kid in town.

And most importantly, pray. Seek God in the relationship and be patient to hear what he says.

Heck at the end of the day…it’s best to be friends, then to go through a relationship that God never intended for you.  Friendship is a win-win for all…and if it moves into finding your soul mate…is there anything better?

So be careful.  Satan is very crafty and knows that Adult Christian Singles Groups are fertile ground. I have to confess that I learned this the hard way and feel prey to a piranha fish…and I don’t want you to have to experience the same heartache.  It’s affects were profound.

God Always Provides Warm Embraces

Why does it take one cruddy day to ruin what I have been working on for a lifetime?  It seems because I’m struggling a bit more than usual that I forget that God loves me through and through.  I forgot that today.   And He had to do something remarkable to remind me He still cares.  What an awesome God we have.

Today I was feeling pretty alone in the world – like everything rests on my shoulders and it’s overwhelming.  I thought that this pain would over take me and that God was no where near.  And then I got one of those cheesy chain letters in my email.  And its sentiment hit me at the right spot.  Here’s what it said.

I never put any belief or energy into these things, but today I sent it to some friends for it touched me.  And you know what….a miracle happened.  When I went to my mailbox this evening I got a letter that I wrote to myself at a church retreat last September.  The Pastor of the conference told us to write a note to ourselves from God – I had totally forgotten that I had ever written that letter. But, it arrived on the perfect day. And here’s how it started out.

From the moment you arrived at the Retreat I gave you love and sent you messages to show you how much I loved you and love you.  I want you to start to feel my love  deep, deep, deep into your soul.  Never forget how much I love you every day and that I am always near.

Lord, I pray, that you help me never forget how much you do love me.  I repent of my doubt and open my arms to receive your mercy and grace – me this woman of little faith.

Things Just Seem to Pile Up

Life can get messy at times. The mess can come all at once like a ransacked house or in drips and drabs as things pile one on top of the other. Either way, they are no fun. They are hard to navigate around, they make you clumsy and are emotionally overwhelming.  A mess makes you feel uncomfortable and you just want them to go away. And more importantly, they always catch up with you if not dealt with and they won’t ever go away until something is done about them. Ugh.

I must admit I’ve caused a few messes myself in life…and not one was fun.  They did cause me to grow in character, but ouch.  Stuff was thrown all around and other people caught got up in my mess too. It wasn’t pretty.  But, thankfully, messes don’t have to last. They can become part of our past, if we bring God into the situation.

Thank goodness God is there for us when we call on Him to be our mess picker upper.  To me, He’s like that Brawny Paper Towel guy.  When I pray and ask Him to handle my mess, He swoops right in with His big hands and heart and wipes away the clutter – sometimes it just take one full swoop.  Other times, He has to come back and scrub and bit more and then a bit more until the mess is completely gone.  When the mess is cleaned up by God you can’t help but notice.  You are at peace.  You are no longer clumsy. You are not overwhelmed by the mess, but full of mercy.  It’s freedom and how God intended life with Him to be.

God's Paper Towels are Always There to Clean Any Mess

Yup, that’s my God.  Smiling down on me with the beauty of the evergreens at this back.  He’s ready at a moment’s notice to clean up any one of my spills, no matter the stench, severity, dirt, grime and size.  He’s never afraid to get His hands dirty or become involved.  He’s never too busy and he’s never in a hurry.  He is thorough and the only person who is perfect.  He is amazing.

Do you know that God?  Has He helped clean up one of your messes?  If not, He’s there for you.  All you have to do is knock.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.  (Matt: 7:7-8)

Flickr: D Sharon Pruitt

Man, there’s just something that I just can’t let go of and I don’t know why.  And yup, it deals with a matter of the heart.  I’ve been praying about it constantly to God and am asking for him to dig up the root so we can cast it away…but it still torments me.

I’m understanding that I am controlling this issue and it’s me that has to keep prying my hands off it.  My knuckles are white from my firm grasp on it…and I keep examining myself to see what it is that makes me think my life is better by holding on to it.

Have you ever had something you just can’t seem to let go of?  It’s painful, emotionally painful.

I also think that the reason why I am holding on to it is because I am pouting that I didn’t get my way.  It’s not fun when you don’t get your way in life. I wish I was one of those people who could just accept that and move on quickly…but I’m not quite there yet.

I am trying to learn how to accept my circumstances and realize they are the best for me.  But, I’m struggling with that I have to admit.

So, I’m throwing myself in God’s arms, as mentioned in the last post, and I’m trying to deal with my situation and not shoving it down. I’m letting it hurt with the hopes that one day I will have a breakthrough and it will be gone.

I have to hold onto God’s words and trust Him in all things. He cares for me and understands where I’m at.  And when I run to him, the pain does numb…

Matthew 11:28-30 (New International Version)

²⁸“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

I get it…but it still hurts.  Do hearts ever mend I wonder?

In his good care,

Cindy