Holy Week

Posted on April 1, 2010 by Cindy

Credit: Flickr-Empathie

This is my favorite week all year as God leads us from Palm Sunday into Good Friday and then through the joy of Easter.  It’s an emotional week on all counts.  If you feel like you’re on a roller coaster, my advice is just go with it. It’s supposed to happen. Our Lord Jesus Christ went thorough a tumultuous week during this time over 2000 years ago. He was worshiped as a King, he then spent a wonderful night with his friends (the Last Supper); he was betrayed by a close friend; arrested; crucified and then rose from the dead. If He didn’t go through every emotion ever felt- I don’t which one He may have missed.

It’s a difficult week – but, we just have to hold on…no matter how much you are struggling. Keep remembering that there will be light soon.  This too shall pass. The pain, darkness and oppression of Good Friday does give rise to Jesus being raised from the dead.  Keep focused on the power inside Him which is inside you.

Glory, Glory, Glory.  He is is Risen. He is Risen indeed.

Credit Cover Image: Flickr – Untitled Blue

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Let Go and Hold On

Posted on March 21, 2010 by Cindy

Don't let go completely ever.

I was going to write a post about how God has been showing me that it’s time to turn all control over to him.  That I needed to take my white knuckles off the things I hold onto for dear life – my next job; my healthy; my family; comfort and love life.  He’s been silently telling me to let things happen naturally, as He intends and not what I think is best for me.  He’s got it all under control and his way is the peaceful route.

Romans 15:13 (New International Version)

13May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

But, when I watched the second episode of “The Pacific” tonight on HBO I heard something different.  “The Pacific” is a brilliant mini-series on HBO chronicling events during WWII when our military fought Japan.  This war was one of the hardest ever fought, emotionally and physically.  This particular episode began with veterans of this war providing commentary. One of the soldiers said that all he could do when fighting this war was “hold on and pray.” The opposite of what I was going to write on.

I totally understand what he said.  If I was stationed at an island half way around the world from my home with an enemy on the attack every day for a solid month all you could do was pray and hold on for God to rescue you. So after I heard that I guess we shouldn’t let go and let God, but really pray, let go and hold on God.   For God is our hope in every situation. Our King.  Our Father who knows what’s best for us every moment of the day.

Pray. Let Go of Your Worry and Hold on To God.

Holding on,

Cindy

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Paying Tribute to My Dad on His Birthday and Premiere Date of the “The Pacific”

Posted on March 14, 2010 by Cindy

This post is a tribute to my father, U.S. Army Staff Sergeant Albert E. Ronzoni, who fought in “The Pacific” during World War II.  This is for you Dad!

My Dad Serving His Country in the Pacific

A NEW APPROACH TO SCREENINGS IN ASSOCIATION WITH

HBO’s 10-PART MINISERIES EVENT “THE PACIFIC”

The War in The Pacific has special meaning to me.  My father, Albert Ronzoni, was drafted out of high school by the U.S. Army to serve his country in World War II fighting the Japanese.  This intelligent, scholarly, 5’11″ kid from a small Northern Minnesota town was thrust through boot camp and shipped off to remote islands in the Pacific.  During his stint in the war, he fought battles in Saipan, Tinian, Espiritu Santo, Okinawa and the  Ryukyu Islands, before contracting malaria a month prior to his discharge.

He was a quiet mild man, who loved to garden and play hockey, football and curling.  He never fought nor shot a gun upon entering the Army.  He left a town where everyone knew each other’s names to fighting an enemy half a world away.  This experience affected him the rest of his life, and not in a good way.

The Time Has Come for this Story to be Told

Today, HBO is premiering the most expensive television event to date – the 10-part miniseries “The Pacific” – Steven Spielberg and Tom Hank’s WWII companion piece to HBO’s “Band of Brothers.”  I cannot begin to applaud HBO enough on greenlighting this important endeavor and forever documenting this historic period of war.  “Band of Brothers” was one of the most memorable series I have ever witnessed and now, with the debut of “The Pacific,” it will prove once again to be TV like we’ve never seen before.

I’ve known for several years that Spielberg and Hanks were embarking on this second theater of war, and was pleased for I wanted to learn more about what my Dad went through to make him who he was.  For you see, I have always felt my Dad was a shell of a man. I always thought I didn’t have my full Dad with me – it was just a sense I had and you sure couldn’t tell that from meeting him. After the war, he still was a quiet man who loved to garden, but he held himself back from accepting love, joy and happiness.  I think the war took that out of him, sadly way before I was ever born.

It is because of this belief I contacted HBO to present an idea I had about an innovative approach for affiliate screenings.  Here’s the idea I sent them on December 1, 2009.

“Thank you so very much for taking time today to discuss a community-led “The Pacific” screening and support group.  As mentioned, I have recently become aware that veterans suffer more than we know.  If not physically wounded from combat, they have been emotionally scarred from war. As a daughter of a WWII Staff Sergeant, I can attest to the fact that the war affected my dad and his ability to form trusting and loving relationships, partly due to his experiences I’m sure fighting in the first wave of offense in the Pacific.  Although, the screening that I am presenting is a bit revolutionary for affiliate relations-HBO will reap tremendous goodwill for their efforts and more importantly, HBO will be a part of healing soldiers. Continue reading →

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Letting Go Is Hard to Do

Posted on March 10, 2010 by Cindy

Flickr: D Sharon Pruitt

Man, there’s just something that I just can’t let go of and I don’t know why.  And yup, it deals with a matter of the heart.  I’ve been praying about it constantly to God and am asking for him to dig up the root so we can cast it away…but it still torments me.

I’m understanding that I am controlling this issue and it’s me that has to keep prying my hands off it.  My knuckles are white from my firm grasp on it…and I keep examining myself to see what it is that makes me think my life is better by holding on to it.

Have you ever had something you just can’t seem to let go of?  It’s painful, emotionally painful.

I also think that the reason why I am holding on to it is because I am pouting that I didn’t get my way.  It’s not fun when you don’t get your way in life. I wish I was one of those people who could just accept that and move on quickly…but I’m not quite there yet.

I am trying to learn how to accept my circumstances and realize they are the best for me.  But, I’m struggling with that I have to admit.

So, I’m throwing myself in God’s arms, as mentioned in the last post, and I’m trying to deal with my situation and not shoving it down. I’m letting it hurt with the hopes that one day I will have a breakthrough and it will be gone.

I have to hold onto God’s words and trust Him in all things. He cares for me and understands where I’m at.  And when I run to him, the pain does numb…

Matthew 11:28-30 (New International Version)

28“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

I get it…but it still hurts.  Do hearts ever mend I wonder?

In his good care,

Cindy

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Healing Hands and A Father’s Embrace

Posted on March 7, 2010 by Cindy

I am still reading Henri J.M. Nouwen’s “The Return of the Prodigal Son” and I had share this insight of his as he gazed at Rembrandt’s “Return of the Prodigal Son” painting immediately below.  It’s about the hands of the father.  Please read on for here are Father Nouwen’s words.

The longer I looked at the “the patriarch,” the clearer it became to me that Rembrandt had done something quite different from letting God pose as the wise old head of the family.  It all began with the hands.  The two are quite different. The father’s left hand touching the son’s shoulders is strong and muscular.  The fingers are spread out and cover a large part of the prodigal son’s shoulder and back. I can see a certain pressure, especially in the thumb. That hand seems not only to touch, but, with its strength, also to hold.  Even though there is a gentleness in the way the father’s left hand touches his son, it is not without a firm grip.

How different is the father’s right hand!  This hand does not hold or grasp. It is refined, soft, and very tender.  The fingers are close to each other and they have an elegant quality. It lies gently upon the son’s shoulder. It wants to cares, to stroke, and to offer consolation and comfort. It is a mother’s hand.

Nouwen points out that our Father is there loving us as both a mother and a father. I found this amazing and when I get down and out, I immediately run into my Father’s hands to feel his firm left hand bringing me closer and his right hand rubbing my back and soothing my soul. When I am caught in his embrace…the only way I get out of it is me letting go. God never wants to let go. It’s us who determines the length of time we stay in our Father’s arms.

It absolutely amazing and safe.  I hope you try it. If so, let me know what the experience was like for you.

Run into your Father’s arms.  It’s there you are going to feel that you are home.

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Upload New Version Automatically

Posted on March 2, 2010 by Cindy

I’ve been watching Joyce Meyer: Enjoying Everyday Life weekdays and she has a saying that I love. She describes her gifting as she’s called to ‘clean the fish.” Meaning – after we become Christians, there’s a whole new transformation that has to come for us to grow more like Him everyday.

I understand that cleaning process right now, as like never before. I mean it’s not enough that we’re entering a new technological age, but we are in the midst of digging ourselves out of a meltdown with our business infrastructure. The Internet was one of the best advances ever, however, with it came the problem that it was offered for free. That free part has hurt businesses like none other in the sense of open platforms. Software, resources, applications that we once paid for – now can be found free, etc. etc. etc.

But, needless to say, this did not in anyway affect Toyota’s problems. The Internet did not cause that. Negligence did.

Anyway…what I am meaning to say is that just about everything we were once comfortable with is changing. Change is now the new constant. And with that comes growth. New acceptance. And Trust.

Which leads to me to the title of this post. A common blog function is upgrades. As new bells and whistles are added or as bugs are fixed to your blog templates, a new upgrade notice appears on your control panel.  When a notice notifies the blogger of an upgrade,  they can either choose to hit button that says “Upgrade Automatically” or “Manual.” The Manual operation allows you to control the upgrade…it doesn’t completely override the system in case you had implemented custom codes. But, I like the auto function. And the last time I upgraded I thought wouldn’t that nice  to have an auto upgrade button in our lives that we could hit to grow more like Christ.  If so, then just like that we would have grown without experiencing much pain and it would be fast. We’d be on to the next level, waiting for a new upgrade to get that set of bugs out.

I want an life auto upgrader!

But, maybe it’s God who has the upgrade buttons. He hits them and to Him we changed automatically. Could it be that it’s just that we don’t see this happening in our timing, but God’s. He’s the master auto upgrader or as Joyce says – “Cleaner of fish.”

Growing in Christ,

Cindy

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How Do You Love? A Study of the Prodigal Son Through Rembrandt’s Eyes

Posted on February 19, 2010 by Cindy

Have you ever seen Rembrandt’s “Return of the Prodigal Son?” God just made me aware of it, thanks to a new bible study we are doing in Sunday School.  It’s absolutely magnificent and speaks to your soul. I have never been moved like this before by observing a painting.  It has so much meaning that I think I will be regularly blogging about it for some time.  But, right now, I just want you to sit still and take it in.  It is based on one of the parables in the Bible.  If you are not aware of this parable, you can read it here in Luke 15: 11-32.

But, here’s the painting. It’s awe inspiring.

This Photo is Mezmerizing

This Painting is Mesmerizing

There is so much to say about this painting.  But right now, I want to center on the father.  Do you see how the son feels so safe in his father’s arms.  This image convicted me.  It made me wonder if I would be as loving if someone deeply hurt me.  Sadly, I think my flesh would prevail and I’d turn my back.  But, I yearn to be so loving.

Also, look at the son’s state. Do you see how his shoes are tattered.  How his head is shaved like a slave. How comfortable he feels in his dad’s arms.  Do you realize our Father is there the same way for us. We can feel so emotionally tattered and He’s there with open arms to comfort and love us and not ask any questions.

Isn’t this painting amazing?

God Bless.

A Prodigal Daughter

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Valentine’s Day – The Importance of a Father’s Love

Posted on February 13, 2010 by Cindy

Dads are the first men Daughters Love

I have a wonderful, loving mother.  I know God blessed me with her to make up for the absence of love from my Dad.  My Dad has been in heaven for eight years now, but the effects of his lack of love toward his little girl has been lifelong  and probably one of the main reasons why I am still not married.

I am coming to better terms with my Father’s relationship and this post is not meant to be about bashing him or dads in general for that matter.  But, I just wanted to speak from my heart and speak from experience to all fathers out there who have little girls in their care. I want to remind them about how important their role is in the life of their daughters.

For you see the world tells us at a very young age that we are to wait for our Prince Charming.  But, even though we learn about our Prince through Disney classics - it is our fathers who embody them for us. They are the first men in our lives who love us – they set the bar for how we should choose our boyfriends and our Prince Charmings.  Dads are so very important to our well-being.  In many ways, they are more valuable in this area than our mothers.

Whenever I am able to give advice to dads who are struggling with teenage girls, I ask them if they have ever taken their daughters on a date.   Every time I hear the same answer – it is no.  I tell them that their daughters need to learn what to expect on a date before they have their first one – this is a lesson every dad can give their daughter. I so wish my dad did that with me.  I wished he cared enough about me and how I let boys/men treat me.  His words to me would have been so helpful, especially when I was such a shy girl.

I am writing this today, because it’s every Valentine’s Day that I remember the two times that he did something for me. The first was when I was in junior high and was sick.  He brought me a box of chocolates in a heart-shaped box the day after Valentine’s because they were half off at the drug store.  The second came two decades later.  He actually bought me a couple roses with a little card.

Which do you think meant more to me?  You guessed it.  The card.  I still have it. It is taped to a photo frame containing his picture. That card is priceless to me.  Whenever I feel the most unloved or unlovable or just plain down, I look at the card and remember that my Dad was not able to show me his love. It was his problem and not mine.  But he did tell it to me once with this card. God allowed me to have one memento from the first man in my life.  I do know now after years of therapy that, in his own way, he loved me the best he could.

I could go on and on about Valentine’s Day.  I am not a fan, only because I’m not on a date with someone who thinks I’m terrific.  I really think Valentine’s Day is a holiday that Satan uses mightily.  For those of us single, divorced, widowed, brokenhearted – it’s a day of sadness – if you let it be.  But, God, told me this week – that he has all the love for me that I need.  I am not unloved.  I am not unlovable.  I am His Valentine. I still have my mom who has never forgotten me on Valentine’s.  And I have this card.

Lasting Words from my Father on Valnetine's Day - A Valentine's Day Reminder

Lasting Words from my Father on Valnetine's Day - A Valentine's Day Reminder

So dads do something special with your daughters. Teach them about how they should expect to be treated by the opposite sex.  Take them on one-on-one dates. Make them feel special and be the first man in their lives to give them flowers with a little card on Valentine’s Day.  I guarantee you that they will keep that card the rest of their life just like I’m doing.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

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Unemployed Or Is It a God Appointed Sabbatical?

Posted on February 9, 2010 by Cindy

This Field is Taking A Rest Before it Produces Again.

God gave me a good word today out of a place I’d never expect it – Leviticus 25. I mean I usually skim through this book because it’s full of procedures for atoning, but He gave me a gem for those of us who are in “transition” – which is the politically correct word nowadays for unemployment.

The LORD said to Moses on Mount Sinai, 23 For six years sow your fields, and for six years prune your vineyards and gather their crops. 4 But in the seventh year the land is to have a sabbath of rest, a sabbath to the LORD. Do not sow your fields or prune your vineyards. 5 Do not reap what grows of itself or harvest the grapes of your untended vines. The land is to have a year of rest. 6 Whatever the land yields during the sabbath year will be food for you—for yourself, your manservant and maidservant, and the hired worker and temporary resident who live among you, 7 as well as for your livestock and the wild animals in your land. Whatever the land produces may be eaten. “Speak to the Israelites and say to them: ‘When you enter the land I am going to give you, the land itself must observe a sabbath to the LORD.

My devotional today asked me this question – Do I have the faith to do what God required of Israel?  In essence, do I have faith to place my source of livelihood completely in God’s hands?

So if God have given me two decades of work – and now – is giving me a year of sabbatical rest – can I trust him in that?  I know it’s God will for me to be without study employment at the moment, but I never saw it as truly a gift from him of rest. For me to get my soil rich again – to give it a breather so it can gain nutrients that have been depleted over the years.  He’s ordained this.  He wants me to rest. Rest in him. Trust him.

So if you are in transition…why not say the correct word – you are on Sabbatical. A God appointed Sabbatical. See it as a gift from God and that He knows exactly what you need to get the proper nourishment.  This was never more clearer to me than last week when my back collapsed on me.  That injury caused me to stop my world for a time and forced me to rest in him.  He keeps saying to me “rest, my child” just rest.  How come that is the hardest thing for me to do?

May you find peace, comfort and rest in whatever year you are in whether on a sabbatical or working during this period.  If working, look ahead – a sabbatical will be coming.

God Bless!

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It’s OK to Say No

Posted on February 2, 2010 by Cindy

Go ahead and Say No

I am just learning that it’s OK to say no.  That is if that is what you are hearing from God.  I’ve always thought, especially when someone needed help and especially when my church had a request that I had to say yes.  But, I’m learning that it is not necessarily the right thing to do.  Often No is the appropriate answer, even if it kills you to say it.

I mean if someone in your family always requests money and you have it to give to them – should you give it? Or should you help them by saying this time you need to take care of your issue and try and get a job?

Or if you don’t feel that you have time for something and you add it to your schedule anyway-should you?

Or in my case, I am on a quest to land a job and although I have more free time than usual, is it the best use of my time to volunteer as I see fit?  That answer is No.  I’m learning that if I don’t take care of my issues – then no one will.  And they are my issues and I don’t want to make them anyone else’s.

I am trying to follow God’s path for me right now and obeying even if it means I do less at church which feels so foreign to me.  But right now he wants me to train and learn – so that’s what I am doing.  In doing so, I have to say “no” to many things and that’s new to me.  I test everything in prayer and often I get a resounding feeling in my soul that it’s the right thing. When I don’t hear a definite no or yes from him, then I error on the side of  “no” not yes.  It seems to be working well.

So go ahead and say no and remember rejection isn’t anything more than direction.  No has many positive consequences, especially when we say No to temptation.  No has power to overcome hurtful behaviors. It really should be thought of as a positive word and action don’t you think?

Jesus said no many times.  He said no to the devil three times when tempted. He said no one can come through the Father except through him.  We must though never waiver in our decision for as Jesus said – it’s so on point….

Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one. Matt 5:37

Would you have said yes or no to the apple?

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