godgirl's blog

Dads are the first men Daughters Love

I have a wonderful, loving mother.  I know God blessed me with her to make up for the absence of love from my Dad.  My Dad has been in heaven for eight years now, but the effects of his lack of love toward his little girl has been lifelong  and probably one of the main reasons why I am still not married.

I am coming to better terms with my Father’s relationship and this post is not meant to be about bashing him or dads in general for that matter.  But, I just wanted to speak from my heart and speak from experience to all fathers out there who have little girls in their care. I want to remind them about how important their role is in the life of their daughters.

For you see the world tells us at a very young age that we are to wait for our Prince Charming.  But, even though we learn about our Prince through Disney classics - it is our fathers who embody them for us. They are the first men in our lives who love us – they set the bar for how we should choose our boyfriends and our Prince Charmings.  Dads are so very important to our well-being.  In many ways, they are more valuable in this area than our mothers.

Whenever I am able to give advice to dads who are struggling with teenage girls, I ask them if they have ever taken their daughters on a date.   Every time I hear the same answer – it is no.  I tell them that their daughters need to learn what to expect on a date before they have their first one – this is a lesson every dad can give their daughter. I so wish my dad did that with me.  I wished he cared enough about me and how I let boys/men treat me.  His words to me would have been so helpful, especially when I was such a shy girl.

I am writing this today, because it’s every Valentine’s Day that I remember the two times that he did something for me. The first was when I was in junior high and was sick.  He brought me a box of chocolates in a heart-shaped box the day after Valentine’s because they were half off at the drug store.  The second came two decades later.  He actually bought me a couple roses with a little card.

Which do you think meant more to me?  You guessed it.  The card.  I still have it. It is taped to a photo frame containing his picture. That card is priceless to me.  Whenever I feel the most unloved or unlovable or just plain down, I look at the card and remember that my Dad was not able to show me his love. It was his problem and not mine.  But he did tell it to me once with this card. God allowed me to have one memento from the first man in my life.  I do know now after years of therapy that, in his own way, he loved me the best he could.

I could go on and on about Valentine’s Day.  I am not a fan, only because I’m not on a date with someone who thinks I’m terrific.  I really think Valentine’s Day is a holiday that Satan uses mightily.  For those of us single, divorced, widowed, brokenhearted – it’s a day of sadness – if you let it be.  But, God, told me this week – that he has all the love for me that I need.  I am not unloved.  I am not unlovable.  I am His Valentine. I still have my mom who has never forgotten me on Valentine’s.  And I have this card.

Lasting Words from my Father on Valnetine's Day - A Valentine's Day Reminder

So dads do something special with your daughters. Teach them about how they should expect to be treated by the opposite sex.  Take them on one-on-one dates. Make them feel special and be the first man in their lives to give them flowers with a little card on Valentine’s Day.  I guarantee you that they will keep that card the rest of their life just like I’m doing.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Go ahead and Say No

I am just learning that it’s OK to say no.  That is if that is what you are hearing from God.  I’ve always thought, especially when someone needed help and especially when my church had a request that I had to say yes.  But, I’m learning that it is not necessarily the right thing to do.  Often No is the appropriate answer, even if it kills you to say it.

I mean if someone in your family always requests money and you have it to give to them – should you give it? Or should you help them by saying this time you need to take care of your issue and try and get a job?

Or if you don’t feel that you have time for something and you add it to your schedule anyway-should you?

Or in my case, I am on a quest to land a job and although I have more free time than usual, is it the best use of my time to volunteer as I see fit?  That answer is No.  I’m learning that if I don’t take care of my issues – then no one will.  And they are my issues and I don’t want to make them anyone else’s.

I am trying to follow God’s path for me right now and obeying even if it means I do less at church which feels so foreign to me.  But right now he wants me to train and learn – so that’s what I am doing.  In doing so, I have to say “no” to many things and that’s new to me.  I test everything in prayer and often I get a resounding feeling in my soul that it’s the right thing. When I don’t hear a definite no or yes from him, then I error on the side of  “no” not yes.  It seems to be working well.

So go ahead and say no and remember rejection isn’t anything more than direction.  No has many positive consequences, especially when we say No to temptation.  No has power to overcome hurtful behaviors. It really should be thought of as a positive word and action don’t you think?

Jesus said no many times.  He said no to the devil three times when tempted. He said no one can come through the Father except through him.  We must though never waiver in our decision for as Jesus said – it’s so on point….

Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one. Matt 5:37

Would you have said yes or no to the apple?

God can help us get through any storm.

A friend sent me a timely devotion today about how God constantly comes to our rescue. He’s done it since the creation of Adam and He’s still at it today.  I don’t know about you, but I’m daily finding myself in some sort of situation where I need a helping hand to make it through.

I guess it’s the images I’m seeing coming from Haiti that bring it front and center for me.  I mean, if you think about it, everyone who has survived the earthquake in Port-au-Prince has needed someone to help them. They’ve either had a hand pull them out of the rubble or someone hand them water.  But, it’s not just the Haitians that need rescuing, it is each of us.

God is there to rescue us all. He gives us his full attention and is the first to extend his hand for he knows we need his help before we do.  But, often, he’s not called upon or in my case I doubt that He can do anything.  But every time I call out, He’s right there letting me know that I’m not alone in this world.

Do you need rescuing? I’ve got some good news for you.  There’s help for you right this minute.  There’s peace during this storm.  Cast your cares upon him.  Your burdens are light to Him.

It’s Jesus to the rescue.

Isaiah 46:4 (New International Version)

⁴ Even to your old age and gray hairs
I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

I started a new bible study today and our Pastor asked for us to find illustrations of God in our life. So I had one and fired up my new camera.  Had a bit of fun with this. Enjoy.

This is a praise report today folks.  I finally got victory over something that has “hooked” me for over 20 years, I kid you not.  But, before I go on, I should describe what this “hook” reference is all about.

I have been hearing this word more and more over the last couple of months.  Hooks. Hooks in the Christian world refer to those things that when you are presented (tempted) with them, you behave in a way which just sets you off and causes you to step two steps back. Hooks are your hot buttons.  Hooks are pet peeves.  Hooks are snares that oppress you.  And hooks are subtle and scary for they have the power to cause you to stumble.

Psalm 141:8-10 (New International Version)

⁸ But my eyes are fixed on you, O Sovereign LORD;
in you I take refuge—do not give me over to death.

⁹ Keep me from the snares they have laid for me,
from the traps set by evildoers.

¹⁰ Let the wicked fall into their own nets,
while I pass by in safety.

Every time when I heard someone pray for a hook to stop snaring me I always envisioned myself wearing a fisher person’s vest.  And this vest of mine could get easily hooked.  Just like your favorite sweater gets snags all the time-that’s how this vest appeared to me.  However, today, I felt a particular hook was trying to hook onto my body but it wasn’t able.  My vest was now made out of some type of material that it couldn’t get hooked into.  I totally could visualize a hook trying to rub against me, but it couldn’t hook into me.  I didn’t react. I finally had victory over this issue. Amen! It was an amazing feeling not being hurt by this situation again after being affected by it for so long.  I know Satan wasn’t pleased, but I sure am!

Now, hooks also have several components to them (ala layers of an onion).  I envision these softer hooks to be more like carabiners. I like these hooks, they have many useful functions  and come in several shapes and sizes. Some are even heart shaped.  But nevertheless they still are hooks.

Carabiners are hooks, but are easily removable.

But with carabiners, they don’t dig into you, they latch onto you.   With fishing hooks, they not only pierce your skin, but they travel deep down inside depending on the size. With carabiners, they can’t penetrate you and you have the control to release them. We can pop off them quickly or leave them on. It’s our choice.

I’ve still got a carabiner attached to this issue, but now, I’m able to pop it off as soon as I recognize it.

The morale of this little post is…have patience with your hook(s). If you keep handing it over to the “greatest fisherman” ever created, he’ll be able to take that hook out for you. I never thought I’d get healed from my issue, but 20 years later…its a new story. But don’t try and take the hook out yourself, you’ll do more damage to yourself. God will work it out of you and he knows the right time for it to disappear.

What do the fisher people say?  Any day fishing is better than any day at work! Work on putting on a hook-proof vest.

Best,
Cindy

I have been rubbing elbows lately with some powerful people of prayer and as such, they have been showing me an entirely new way to pray.   Yes, I know that there are many methods of prayer that have been presented and although, some people subscribe to certain formulas…I know that God just loves to hear from us – no matter how it sounds or what we say or what order we do it in.  You can never go wrong with prayer.  But, lately, I have been learning how much power can be achieved when a prayer includes praying through the situation.

I have to admit that it is difficult for me to pray this way for I have always been a ‘glass is half empty’ type of gal.  So when one prays through a situation, you need to see through it with a positive result.  For instance, last month I had horrible pain in my kidneys.  I was scared that it was something serious, life threatening and didn’t see anything beyond that.  However, when I was prayed over, the prayer warriors prayed through it…they praised God for the healing he gave me.  And it worked.  After a series of tests it was diagnosed as only kidney stones.

Right now I am in transition and as such, God has given me a wide palette of choice.  We also are heading into a New Year which brings hope for a better 365 days.  I’ve recently told a friend that I feel like I’ve just graduated high school and I’m entering college and I can choose to be anything that I want to be.  It’s exciting, yet at the same time a bit frightening.   But, I can be happy. This can be an easy process.  My glass can be half full!  And that’s what I am supposed to pray about…praising God for how he brought me through this transition.  There is light at the end of the tunnel. There always is a new sunrise.

No Matter How Hard Things Appear - Raise Your Hands and Give Glory

I’ve just started to pray this way, so I’m toddling through this process, but it really helps me become more hopeful. It helps me see that Jesus sees things this way. He’s not bogged down by this moment for he is the only one who knows what is ahead and it’s all good.

being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Phil 1:6

So what are you currently praying about? Can you see its results? Are you praying through the situation?  I’d love to hear your thoughts on this and how God is moving in your life.  Let’s pray together for a New Year full of harvest and abundance in leading others to eternal life.

God Bless,

Cindy

A Powerful Force of Love

I have a radical pastor who gets right to the heart of matters.  He’s aware that we’re living in a troubled economy. He gets it that some are barely making their rents.  He knows that the holidays are tough in so many ways. He knows that we experience pain and that life can be tough. But…he also knows that despite what problem the world has created that there is an antidote. This antidote is something we each possess and can call upon at a moment’s notice.  Are you ready to hear it?

The antidote is Love.

Love is the answer. ♥ To love and be loved. Is there anything else that really matters?

It’s the relationships in our life that count.

God kept putting the word tsunami in my pastor’s mind and it wasn’t until recently that he understood what God meant.  God wanted him to challenge his church members to create a groundswell, a tsunami of love.  He challenged us to tell at least five people a day that we loved them.  And its working. You should try it. I can’t tell you how wonderful it has been when around others at church to hear those three little words as I’m walking the campus. I can’t help but stop for a second and smile when I hear it from someone.

Like a tsunami, love is a powerful force.  When was the last time you’ve told your wife or husband that you love them?  How about your mom or dad?  Or that neighbor that watches over your house for you while on vacation?  Or how about your pastor or Sunday school leader?

I totally get what he means that though we are small, we can do all things, especially with the use of social media these days – the tsunami of love can extend beyond our church.  Though we are just a little speck on Google maps, the spark of love from this spot can ripple to the four corners of the earth.  Won’t you join us and spread this tsunami of love this holiday season?

It doesn't take much to let a person know that they matter to you. (Credit: Ronaldo F. Cabuhet/Flickr)

My pastor said something today that saddened me a bit. He stated that if we were one of the mega-churches in our area and we did this it would probably make the news and he’s right.  But, that’s what is so wonderful about God.  God works in amazing, unseen ways and although we are small he is mighty.  For all we need for you is to tell two friends and so on and so on and so on.  So if you are reading this and you’re on Facebook, go ahead and put in your status that you love your friends this holiday season.  Those who choose to be your Facebook friends are people who value you and your input. You matter to them.  Tell them to tell their friends too.  Let’s spread this giant tidal wave for love is the only answer.

Find people to love on and watch the tsumani that comes back.

Be sure to share some of your stories with me okay.  I’d love to hear about whom you love and about those who love you.

I love you.

Cindy